NCLB ala Football Print
Written by Ben   
Wednesday, 09 July 2008 14:26

Summer is here and I've been doing a lot of landscaping work and thinking about everything that needs to be done before the beginning of the school year. I was going through my old e-mails and I found this little gem. Since football season is approaching and NCLB is a pretty big issue in the educational realm I thought it would be appropriate:

 

This is football version of what is going on in education right now. For all educators in and out of the education system:

 

  1. All teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST win the championship If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable. If after two years they have not won the championship their footballs and equipment will be taken away UNTIL they do win the championship.
  2. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time, even if they do not have the same conditions or opportunities to practice on their own. NO exceptions will be made for lack of interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities of themselves or their parents. ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL!
  3. Talented players will be asked to workout on their own, without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athletes who aren't interested in football, have limited athletic ability or whose parents don't like football.
  4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in the 4th, 8th, and 11th game. This will create a New Age of Sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimum goals. If no child gets ahead, then no child gets left behind. If parents do not like this new law, they are encouraged to vote for vouchers and support private schools that can screen out the non-athletes and prevent their children from having to go to school with bad football players.

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Comments (4)add comment

Nancy said:

This is perfect! I'm going to post this on our bulletin board in our teachers' lounge as soon as we get back to work ~ my colleagues are going to love it! There is one that is similar that applies NCLB requirements to a dentist's performance (i.e. the dentist will be held accountable for children that never brush their teeth, eat lots of candy, etc.).
August 09, 2008

Ben Baker said:

Thanks for the comments you two! I could go on and on about No Child Left Behind, but I won't (yet). To go along with your statement, if you read the biography on Margaret Spellings, our U.S. Secretary of Education, it seems that she has a degree in political science. I agree, true educators need to have more input into act that effects us in the work field...and if the policy makers don't realize what's going on in the educator's work field, I'm sure that they won't know what happens on a football field. *grin*
July 24, 2008

Heath said:

Excellent post. I always called NCLB something different - NTLS (No Teacher Left Standing). When will the government wake up and realize that politicians aren't the experts in everything? Shouldn't educators be making the decisions regarding education? It's like asking a janitor for dental advice.
July 23, 2008

Linda :~) said:

All I can say is the creators of NCLB need to read this one...of course maybe they don't know anything about football either! :~)
July 10, 2008

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